Are You Alive?

"How does it feel to be alive?" This is a question James Hetfield, lead singer of Metallica, often asks partway through a show. The immediate answer that surfaces inside can't be put into words. It comes out as more of a primal yell, an excited response to the rush you're experiencing. The continuous flow of music, light and heat from the onstage flames bombard your senses, and it's impossible not to feel the energy. If you haven't experienced a 'Tallica show, I get why you might look at me funny when I try to explain it. If you've been there, you know exactly what I mean.

Whenever people hear I'm a huge Metallica fan, I often hear the same, predictable response. "You like that kind of music?" I might not look like your typical metalhead, but I'm as passionate about it as the best of them. I've been trying to define or put into words why it means so much to me, what it is that I connect with.

Metallica immediately became my favourite band the first time I saw their live show.

I was in high school when a friend mentioned they had an extra ticket to see this band named Metallica. After a reluctant sign off from mom, I found myself seated in the upper bowl, excited but unsure of what to expect. At the time, I was probably familiar with one or two songs, heard in passing on my dad's radio. But something immediately clicked when I headed into the arena with the rest of the crowd. Everyone is just so excited, the atmosphere crackles with life. There's a buzz, a build up of energy ready to be unleashed. Anticipating it is almost as rewarding. The date's been circled on your calendar for months, and it's finally here. The opening acts have come and gone, the stage is set, and the excitement inside spikes as the lights go down. It's one of my favourite moments. 

I would later learn that a Metallica show follows a similar pattern. Every concert begins with "The Ecstasy of Gold," an Ennio Morricone track from The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly. It sets the stage perfectly, lending an epic beginning to what's about to come. Every single time I hear that song I fill up with emotion, recalling memories of pure joy I've gotten from being in those moments. From that point on, the band comes out and continues to attack your senses in the best way possible, unleashing an unending and perfectly balanced intensity until you stumble out of the arena in a rocked-out daze.  It took me in, the exchange of energy between band and the crowd, the shared experience making you part of the "Metallica family". 

A big reason the concert atmosphere so special is the people there to experience it with. I've now seen Metallica 3 times with my dad beside me, and feeling the same thrill together is amazing, having those shared memories. My favourite recollection is seeing them the night before SuperBowl at AT&T Park in San Fransisco. I close my eyes and I can clearly feel the cool night air, the Bay right behind the stadium, the beautiful chaos of the performance on stage. I recall everything clearly, arriving, finding our seats, and taking it all in. There's a feeling of gratitude and presence, sharing in the energy and talent of these individuals for a brief moment. It's rare these days to focus on something for hours at a time, undistracted. It's also cool to think that the next night these same people will be halfway across the world sharing this experience with others. 

I have great admiration not only for the talent but also the respect that the band has for the craft of music. Even after some 34 years, they are dedicated night after night to becoming better. The work and commitment it takes to continue year after year, touring, pushing boundaries, constantly creating, it's impressive. They play every show with the understanding that, even after all these years, there are many in the crowd experiencing it for the first time.  I can't imagine what it must feel like to be up there directing all of that energy. The band seems grateful, genuine, refining their performance over a lifetime. They are masters of their craft, and it's inspiring. 

Ryan Holiday likes to reference a story about guitarist Kirk Hammett. After the band had kicked out its original guitarist (Dave Mustaine who would go on to form Megadeth), they invited Kirk to join the group. Many people overlook the commitment and practice that goes into attaining excellence. Instead of just sitting back and enjoying the newly secured spot, he remained a student, beginning lessons with Joe Satriani to continually refine his craft. Talent requires relentless work, practice, and an intense appreciation in order to be fully realized. 

Around the same time I first saw Metallica, I got to experience a band on the other end of the spectrum. I first saw Avenged Sevenfold at a small University concert venue in Calgary, and immediately knew they were special. The one thing I remember is not wanting the night to end. It's etched in my memory, experiencing my first real 'mosh pit', physically feeling the music. I've watched them through their evolution, and have seen them in venues across North America. They continue to earn my respect and admiration as a fan, appealing to an intellectual side (their latest album explores the theme of artificial intelligence). 

With a similar student mindset to Kirk, guitarist 'Synyster Gates' is one of my biggest sources of musical inspiration. After all the success, he remains a humble student of the craft. Greatness doesn't happen by mistake. Years of success as a band doesn't just happen. It takes commitment to continuous practice and improvement. Each time I listen to an interview with him, I'm introduced to some new eclectic genre that I fall in love with. It's a love for music in general.

Ever since those first few formative experiences, I've been totally hooked. I picked up the guitar because I wanted to be able to understand the music on a deeper level. There is a primal connection, the songs make you feel. I urge you put on Sad But True and not start banging your head along. There's so much energy. If I had to pick one thing to describe what I love most about the music is that it makes you feel. Good music takes you through many different human emotions. The words and lyrics themselves connect with something deep within, giving expression to something you knew was there but lacked the ability to articulate yourself. It literally strikes a chord, one that is impossible to reverse once you've experienced it. 

Happiness. Connection. Feeling. That's what music's all about. As I shuffle out of the stadium with the rest of the crowd, the huge grin on my face will be there all night. That was awesome. I feel alive.